A Lucky Woman's Outlook on Pregnancy

Early on I promised my self that I'd do no celebrating until done was done. But, with the arrival of 33 weeks pregnant tomorrow, I'm feeling too victorious to keep quiet! As of now, I have carried this baby 3 weeks longer than Ethan and 4 1/2 weeks longer than Faith. What does this mean to me? It means 3-4 1/2 weeks less NICU time, it means that maybe, just maybe, this baby will leave the hospital on the same day I do. It means feeling eternally grateful. I thank my children for giving me the wisdom and humbleness to be able to truly appreciate the ability to be pregnant...and stay pregnant. With pregnancy being about as common as wearing the color blue, I think the miracle of growing a person is kind of lost on us. It's painful and uncomfortable and dangit, we have the right to complain. But, these little stabs and aches make me so HAPPY! I pant while sitting on the couch, as my uterus and lungs fight over property lines, and every now and then I have to push a painful foot out from under my ribs (who knew that really happened?!) but it's all good news to me. It means my baby is growing, he's big and he's well and he's still IN! I lay in bed, unable to sleep at night, just rubbing my tummy and the spot where his little bum sticks out. It's so awesome, this growing a baby business, that I can't settle myself down to go back to sleep. There have been MANY jokes about me getting to experience the miserable last trimester, but I can only say - bring on the misery. I've never known a pain like watching my tiny babies fight for their lives in the NICU. I've never felt such failure, or such sadness. Never could anything be so uncomfortable. Nothing could ever hurt my body the way that hurt my heart. So while at times I'm pretty sure my uterus is about to rip open, and I've been quacked at more than once as I waddle from the pain in my hips, I'm one happy mama. Even if it's taken synthetic hormones and weekly ultrasounds, I feel strong. I'm proud of my body for accommodating this life and doing what it needs to do to support him. Grow baby, grow! This mama is in it 'til the end!