Running out of time!

It's a silly thought really - considering my children are merely 4 and 2 years old. But do you ever have the "Oh my gosh, how will I ever fit in all those critical life lessons before they develop puberty-induced selective hearing?!" I had one yesterday, not my first either. I think it was spurred by "back" to school night for Faith's new pre-school. The first issue here is that it causes an irrational sadness in me to think of someone else educating my child. I have a selfish, egotistical need to teach them everything worth knowing before anyone else can. But of course, "it takes a village..." and all that. Faith is stoked about school and that's good enough for me. But anyways, before I had kids, I had all these great little 'lectures' planned in my head that I would give to my children at the picture perfect time to teach them all of life's lessons. I learned about the time that baby Faith smacked another baby upside the head with a block that things like respect (and even more simple concepts like "gentle") are not told, but shown. You can't just say "We respect our friends and their bodies and their space, because they have feelings too". I mean - sure you can say it. But you have to do it, every day, for it to mean something to your children. So now with Faith going to school I wonder, has she learned? Have I shown her? Will she sit in respectful silence and listen to her teacher? Will she take turns with her new friends and share her toys? Will she include a loner? Will she comfort a friend if he or she is sad? Will she apologize if she wrongs someone? What kind of a reflection is it on my parenting if she doesn't? Some people want their children to grow up successful. To be a doctor or a lawyer, to go to college or to travel. I want my children to grow up to be good people. I want them to love everyone. I want them to be kind. And when Faith throws me a side-ways look like a belligerent 16 year old, I worry! Our time to influence their attitudes and behaviors is so very small. Starting school also means that there are competing influences in my child's life - and no ones intentions can ever be as pure and earnest as mine as their mother. We're always led to believe that the challenges of parenting are sleepless nights, crying babies and tantrum throwing toddlers - as far as I'm concerned that doesn't even skim the surface of the challenge we face in trying to raise good people.