Why Children Get Spoiled

"Spoiled child" carries a pretty hefty negative connotation. I think "brat" might be the natural word to follow. Spoiled children are the result of over-indulgent, negligent, or emotionally vacant parents....or are they?

I was at the mall with my "mommy I want that" 4 year old last week and as we passed the Disney Store, she caught sight of foot-long plush princess dolls. She began tugging on my hand enthusiastically and jumping up and down while proclaiming her love of all things Disney and her more than need for at least one of these conveniently-put-right-at-the-front dolls. As the voice of reason reminded her that we were not there for doll shopping and there would be no doll purchasing, my mind was reeling. What was a $15 dollar doll? It would make her so happy and boy do I know how happy it makes me to see her happy, and maybe I could make a deal with her, a chore for the doll, or maybe she'd agree to take one of her old toys to Goodwill...And then I had an epiphany. This is why children are spoiled. As parents, we want our children to be happy. Almost anything is worth seeing that little glint in their eyes when they are pleased and it is infinitely harder to say no to a completely unnecessary doll on principle than I ever thought it could be.

Matt and I are definitely guilty of indulging our children much more often than is necessary. In fact, right after this doll incident, Matt and I spent a kid-free day together which landed us back at the mall...where we spent our time wishing on little red hearts to make personalized bears for our children. Faith and Ethan got their new friends the very same day, because neither Matt nor I could hold out until Christmas for that little high we get when our kids are pleased.

Whether our kids are spoiled or not is probably a matter of opinion, but I do know for sure that it's very hard not to give your children something you are capable of giving, just because there's something bigger going on. I think we strike a good balance of give and take though. But in any case, a certain 4 year old girl will have a plush princess (or two...) under the Christmas tree in a couple of weeks I'll bet!